ON FALLING

There once was a bird named Jonny. Jonny was always late (Jonny played the drums). Every year Jonny and his friends would fly south for the winter. Jonny was always late to the meet up and his friends were getting pissed. One year all of the birds decided to meet at the old oak tree to fly south together. They told Jonny not to be late or else they would leave without him. Jonny said that of course he wouldn't be late this time. Jonny's alarm was set for 6:00AM but he hit the snooze twice and went back to sleep. Jonny's friends were waiting at the oak tree but didn't want to leave without him even though they said they were going to, so they all went and knocked on Jonny's nest and yelled his name. Jonny heard them but was convinced that he was too tired and so he went back to sleep. His friends decided that there was nothing more that they could do so they yelled at him to catch up further down and they left. Jonny finally got his lazy ass out of bed at 10:00, looked at his clock, and sqwacked "OH SHIT! THEY'VE LEFT WITHOUT ME!" He raced off of his nest and almost hit his head on the branch on the way out. He flew desperately to meet up with his friends. Jonny was making good time but it started getting colder and colder, a storm was brewing. Jonny was worried but told himself that it couldn't be that bad, that he was only a little bit late. It kept getting colder and Jonny got more and more scared, his wings were beginning to stiffen. Finally it got so cold that Jonny could no longer move his wings at all, they were frozen. Jonny plumetted to the ground spinning uncontrollably. He hit the ground with a thud still unable to move. As Jonny lay on the hard earth, his wings twisted into contortions, he thought to himself that "Things could not possibly ever in a million years get any worse than this." Right as he finished his thought a cow began walking towards him. The cow stepped over him and stopped. "No" Jonny thought as the cow emptied "Things definately are worse." Jonny hated himself as he sat in the pile of Bullshit, mostly of his own making, but slowly and surely Jonny was thawing. Eventually he was warm enough to move his wings again and he crawled out and continued flying south. His friends were at a diner 2 miles down the road waiting for the storm to pass, they thought he was an idiot. I suppose he was.

Moral: Sometimes the very worst shit is the shit that saves you.